


don't hide away (come out and play)

by akmongs



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comfort, Fluff, Insomnia, M/M, Nico's POV, wanted to make this angsty but it came out sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 12:11:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17508383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akmongs/pseuds/akmongs
Summary: Something is wrong now. Has been for days. Marti’s dark circles are almost painful to look at. His smiles don’t reach his eyes. He yawns often and doesn’t really talk much, but when Nico asks him about it, he brushes it off with a smile and a soft touch on his cheek.“I’m just sleepy. Nothing to worry about.”





	don't hide away (come out and play)

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted from tumblr (edited on 14/06/19)
> 
> the prompt was nico taking care of a vulnerable marti. i took inspiration from a headcanon of mine about marti’s insomnia. it's my first time writing from nico’s pov and, uuuh, it wasn’t easy
> 
> title from "come out and play" by billie eilish
> 
> cw: marti uses a homophobic slur directed at himself

One of the things that Nico loves the most about Marti is that he's an open book. Nico can know what he feels just by looking at his face. Unfortunately for Marti, that means he can know when something's wrong too, no matter how hard he tries to hide it.

Something is wrong now. Has been for days. Marti’s dark circles are almost painful to look at. His smiles don’t reach his eyes. He yawns often and doesn’t really talk much, but when Nico asks him about it, he brushes it off with a smile and a soft touch on his cheek.

“I’m just sleepy. Nothing to worry about.”

If Nico has learned anything about Marti, it's that he can be entirely selfless when taking care of others, but he doesn't apply the same logic to himself. Sometimes his insecurities are thicker than a brick wall, and Nico can only break through them if Marti allows him to. So if Marti isn't ready to talk about this, Nico won’t push him, but he can’t help asking Gio if he knows anything. 

Maybe he shouldn't, he thinks, but he hopes Marti will forgive him.

“I don’t know. He said his dad called. His mom freaked out. Pretty sure Marti is not sleeping again.”

“Again?” Nico asks, surprised.

“He gets insomniac, sometimes. It only got bad once, some months ago.”

_Some months ago._ Nico wonders, in the next few days, if Gio was talking about those long November weeks. If he’d had anything to do with it. But he decides he can ask Marti some other time. All he wants to do now is take care of him.

–

It’s Friday and Nico's parents will be home late, so he’s invited Marti to sleep over. They are lounging on the couch in his living room, two empty pizza boxes and beer bottles sitting on the cocktail table. Nico has been watching Marti all night, waiting for the right moment to ask, but he figures this moment is as good as any.

“Marti. What’s wrong?” he asks. 

Marti raises his brows. “Nothing. Why?”

Nico goes for a joke, at first, doesn't want to make Marti close in on himself. 

“You look like a zombie. You know you can lie to me but your face can’t, right?”, he says, smiling playfully.

But Marti replies with another one of those tired smiles that don’t reach his eyes. 

“I’m fine. Just stressed because of school.”

Nico sighs, defeated. "Are you sure?"

And maybe Marti sees it written on Nico’s face, that he’s not buying his shit anymore. He clears his throat.

“My mom..." he starts. Hesitates. "She hasn’t been feeling great,” he says, crossing his arms, eyes downcast. 

He's doing exactly what Nico feared, closing in on himself, but Nico won’t let him. He scoots closer and gently strokes his hair, searching his eyes.

He knows Marti needs his time to get the words out. He'll give it to him.

The words start pouring out, a minute later. “My dad called me. Said he and Paola want to get married, and if I could tell mom because he doesn’t want to upset her too much. I told him he’s a fucking coward,” he says. 

Marti's voice is shaky and full of bitterness. When Nico doesn’t say anything, he squints at him. “But you already knew that, right?”

Nico nods, bashful. Maybe he’s an open book for Marti, too. “I’m sorry," he apologizes, biting his lip. "I was worried, so I asked Gio. But I only knew about a phone call. Nothing else.”

Marti nods too, quiet. “Remind me to be angry at you two.”

Nico smiles, kisses Marti’s cheek. “Okay."

Marti is still avoiding his eyes. Nico knows he needs to get the whole weight off his chest. So he waits, looks at him carefully. A few moments later, Marti continues.

“I just can’t understand. I can’t understand how he can be such an asshole. He had the fucking guts to ask me to tell my mom that she needs to hurry up and divorce him so he can get married again. To call me at all after he fucked off and disappeared for two months cause he couldn’t handle his son being a fag-” Marti cuts himself off. He breaks away from Nico's touch with one sharp movement, curls in on himself and puts his head down between his fists, breathing heavily. 

Nico doesn’t say anything. Bites his lip and waits, again. Gives Marti the time he needs, again.

Eventually, Marti sighs and sits back up, looking up as if holding back tears.

“I can’t sleep," he says, and his voice is so shaky it breaks Nico's heart. "I can’t focus. My mom’s a mess and I have to take care of her too. It’s just all too much,” he says, whispers it, and Marti looks down and bites his lip to hold back a choked sob.

Now Nico moves, almost jumps to cross the short distance between them on the couch. He never thought he’d see Marti cry in front of him. His strong, sunny Marti. He’s a fragile thing now. So Nico will handle him with care.

“Marti. Look at me. Look at me,” he says, and cups Marti's face. He gently raises his head, thumbs stroking his cheeks, and Marti looks at him with big teary eyes, chin trembling.

“Breathe,” he whispers, resting his forehead against Marti’s. Marti closes his eyes, another tear dropping from his long, wet eyelashes. It catches on Nico’s thumb and he kisses it away.

“Your dad is an asshole," he says. It earns him a snort from Marti, and he smiles softly and keeps going. "It isn’t anyone’s fault. He hurt you, and I’m so sorry. And I know it feels suffocating. That you feel like you have to be strong for everybody else. For me too. But I’m here. Let me help you." 

He wipes Marti’s tears, brushes his hair off his forehead. Marti nods, inhales and exhales shakily.

“Remember what you told me? Minute by minute. So, what do you want to do this minute?”

Marti laughs weakly. He looks back and forth between Nico’s eyes. “I don’t know. I want you to hug me?”

Nico smiles. He lowers one hand around Marti’s waist and rests the other at his nape and holds him tight. Marti hooks his chin over his shoulder and hugs him back, hands gripping his hoodie. Nico strokes his hair and rocks him a bit, rubbing his back. He will stay like this as long as Marti needs. He won’t move. He wants to make him feel better, the way Marti does for him. He hopes Marti can feel that.

He kisses Marti’s hair, the top of his head. He doesn’t know how long they hug for, but Marti seems to relax. When he slowly pulls away, he's breathing easier, and his shoulders are lower, less tense. 

Marti huffs, wiping his face and chuckling a bit, embarrassed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Ever,” Nico says. He smiles and holds Marti’s hands. “What about this minute?”

Marti purses his lips. “Maybe you could play some piano for me?” he asks, almost shy.

“Of course.” Nico kisses him, soft, gentle. “Get comfy. I’ll make you fall asleep.”

That makes Marti laugh, and Nico had missed that smile, the real one. That one that takes his breath away. 

“I don’t know if you should be proud of that,” Marti jokes. He kisses the back of Nico’s hand, a silent thank you. 

Nico smiles at him and stands up, and Marti sits up with his knees to his chest and rests his head on the back of the couch, getting comfy, as Nico said. Nico walks to the piano and sits down on the bench, looking back at Marti, who’s watching him with a soft smile. He uncovers the keyboard and thinks about what to play, his fingers tapping the keys on autopilot.

He starts playing a soothing piece, pressing lightly on the keys to get a soft sound. It’s not a lullaby, but it’s close enough. He improvises and starts losing track of time, eyes closing naturally, transported by the music. 

He plays, unaware of his surroundings until a warm and sleepy Marti is standing by the bench, asking him to scoot over. He sits down next to Nico and rests his head on his shoulder.

“You were supposed to fall asleep,” he says, still playing.

“You were too far away,” Marti mumbles. “But it’s working.”

Nico hums. He kisses Marti’s temple, and Marti lifts his head to kiss him on the lips.

The kiss is slow and lingering, Nico's left hand abandoning the piano keys to rest on Marti's cheek.

“Do you want to go to bed in the next minute?”

“Okay,” Marti whispers, blinking at him slowly.

The final notes he plays echo faintly in the living room. He carefully covers the keyboard, stands up and shuts the lights in the living room. When he walks back to the piano, he takes Marti’s hands and helps him up, walking him backward into his room. Marti smiles and closes the door behind them.

Nico lies down in the center of his bed and pulls Marti down on top him, and Marti snuggles into him and rests his head on his chest, sighing. 

Nico runs his fingers through his soft, auburn hair, again and again. He will do this until Marti falls asleep, even if it takes hours. He tells Marti that.

Marti curls up closer and presses a smile-shaped kiss over his heart.

“Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading <3
> 
> come say hi on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/gingersuho) or [tumblr](https://faresramettas.tumblr.com/)!


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